A Chinese zombie space rover is shambling around the Moon

Just a few days ago, China reported that its lunar rover, Yutu — named after the mythological Chinese jade rabbit that lives on the Moon — wentgentle into that good lunar night. Now, just a handful of days later, the dead rover has awoken, shambling along the moonscape with its robot zombie bones.

The rover experienced some mechanical trouble on January 25, not too long before it intentionally powered down in preparation for the lunar night. A lunar cycle consists of 28 Earth days equally split between night and day. For the two-week period of a lunar night, Yutu was set to intentionally shut down in order to avoid the blisteringly cold temperatures of -274 Fahrenheit. A little radioisotope heater unit keeps Yutu warm enough to prevent from freezing over. However, what was reported as a “mechanical abnormality” prevented the rover from properly hibernating, likely facing a grim fate. Before the cold of the lunar night rolled in, Yutu signed off with an extremely creepy anthropomorphized message that sounded more like the rover was forcing us to sign off rather than signing off itself: “Goodnight, Earth. Goodnight, humanity.”

What the Chinese lunar program specialists overlooked, though, is that it takes more than two weeks of night to put Yutu to sleep. After the the rover was assumed dead, the program specialists are now reporting that the Jade Rabbit has awoken, though the initial mechanical abnormality is still present. Now that the rover is awake, the astronomers might be able to save it and continue exploring the lunar surface.

The revival of the rover has rallied Chinese social media users, prompting many to quip that the rover has resurrected because it craves the dumplings traditionally eaten on China’s Lantern Festival, which begins today. It would appear that the people of China’s social media networks are not aware of the true circumstances regarding Yutu’s revival. The rover isn’t craving dumplings, but is instead craving the metallic flesh of other lunar rovers, as it’s traditional for the living dead to crave the flesh of the living.

When it landed on December 15 of last year, Yutu made China only the third country to ever successfully perform a soft landing on the Moon, joining the United States and the former Soviet Union. Now, unfortunately, the human race can never return to the Moon due to the rampaging zombie rover that will certainly stalk and consume any visitor.

Thanks a lot, China.